Flash Fiction Holiday Blog Hop – Strange Bedfellows

ffhbh_badge4-200Welcome to the Flash Fiction Holiday Blog Hop that was organized by Thorny Sterling. There are over 40 people writing short holiday stories based on the picture below. The only parameters were 1) LGBT 2) holiday theme 3) a “bad boy” 4) a gift of some kind 5) less than 3000 words. So here is my contribution and I can’t wait to see how everyone interpreted the picture. It will be fun to see in which ways they are similar and in which they are different. Enjoy and visit all the blogs by clicking on the button on the right. Stories will be posted between Dec. 1 – 7. at-the-shop Strange Bedfellows – Tam Ames

“I don’t want to be here. This is ridiculous. I’m leaving.”

“Come on, baby. Don’t be like that.” Mik put his arms around Keron’s waist and hugged him from behind. “It’s not that bad is it?” Mik looked around at the myriad of lights, ornaments and sundry decorations in the local Christmas store.

Keron tugged his hat further down on his head and scowled up at Mik. “You know this is wrong. I’m a bad-ass demon. With horns under this hat, you know.” He hissed out the last part glancing around to see if anyone was paying them any mind. “And you remember what’s under my coat?”

Mik smirked and with a quick look around as well, reached down and gave Keron’s crotch a squeeze. “Oh, I remember. It was only…” He paused to look at his watch. “Forty seven minutes ago.”

“If you don’t let me out of here right now, I am going to pluck every feather off your wings, one by one and make a pillow out of them.” He was trying to look pissed off, but the hand under his jacket was distracting him.

“Ha!” Mik let out a bark of laughter. A little old lady looked their way, and frowned when she saw Mik practically hanging on Keron.  Mik smiled and pulled back, trying to be a tad less obvious. “Look. We need to get a Christmas present for Mom. I want you to help pick it out. Otherwise it’s not from us.” Mik made air quotes around the word.

“They’re going to kill me.”

“Who will?” Mik’s brow was furrowed.

“The guys at work. They’re going to find out, they are going to make my life a living hell, well, more of one I guess, and I’ll never live this down. It’s a fucking Christmas store!” He practically shouted the last sentence.

Mik just patted him on the arm. “Of course it is, dear.”

“She’s not even your real mom.”

His eyes wide, Mik stared at him, mouth hanging open. “Excuse me?”

A flush traveled up Keron’s face. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

With his arms crossed, Mik stared at him. “I didn’t hear you, asshole.”

Keron closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had crossed the line with the comment. He knew that, but when he felt like he was cornered he played dirty. It was what demons did. He wasn’t an angel, a literal one, like Mikail. “I’m sorry. I know she’s been like a mother to you.”

Mik interrupted. “And to you too.”

“And to me too, and I’m sorry, I’m just in a pissy mood because I hate it here, and if Bing Crosby doesn’t shut the hell up I’ll make sure he never sees another white Christmas in his lousy afterlife!” Once again his volume had risen as the rant progressed.

“Well!” The woman huffed, gave him the evil eye and high-tailed it for the far end of the store.

“Look, I thought we could get her ornaments to put on that big-ass tree she gets every year. One for me and one for you.”

“Oh sure. Take the easy way out.” He waved his hand around the store. “There’s a gazillion angels in here, and I’m pretty sure there are no demon Christmas ornaments.”

“Well. That’s true.” Mik looked around. “But it doesn’t have to represent you-you. It can be something you like.”

“Hellfire? Brimstone? You think they got any of that strung up on a pretty red ribbon?”

“Keron!” Mik’s voice snapped and Keron looked down shamefaced.

“Fine. Whatever. Let’s just do this and I can get out of here before I’m busted.”

m31JObql3srO1qF056wKL3QMik heaved a sigh and led them over to the wall with themed ornaments. Keron tugged his hat further on his head and followed.

“What about this?” Mik held up a Christmas themed dog ornament. “Hellhound?”

“It’s wearing a fucking elf suit.”

“It’s Christmas.”

“And it’s a chihuahua!” Keron glared at Mik. “No.”

“Fine.” They rummaged around in the ornaments, and each time Mik held something up, Keron shook his head or made a face that looked like he’d just inhaled Chanel No 5 rather than the sulfur fumes he preferred.snow

“How about this?” Keron handed Mik an ornament, a sly smile on his face.

“What the-?” Mik turned it around. “Oh my God! It’s a naked woman giving a snowman a blow job. What the hell?”

“A snowman would never last in hell. It’s too hot.” Keron blinked at him innocently.

“No. Absolutely not. It’s my mom!”

His scandalized voice left Keron snickering as he shoved the ornament to the back of the shelf. 17665.4859.zoom“Rudolf fucking Blitzen?” He held up an ornament of two reindeer doing just that.

“No!” Mik snatched the ornament out of his hand, grabbed his arm and moved him further down the aisle.

Keron was starting to feel better about the whole expedition now. Maybe it wasn’t so bad, if he ignored the angel-messiah bullshit that was all around him. Not that he didn’t love Mik. He did. The angel part notwithstanding, but it was just so damn syrupy sweet in the store. images (4)

“How about this? Spikey, prickley, bound to hurt if you touch it.” Mik held up what appeared to be a glitter covered sea urchin.

“Seriously? Glitter? Do I look like a glitter kind of guy? No.” toe

A few minutes later Keron held up something greenish. “What about this?”

“Is that a severed toe?” Mik wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“It’s a zombie toe. But for Christmas. See? It’s got holly on top.”

Mik cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.

“Fine. You wanted something that represented me.”

“You’re not a zombie.” bacon-ornament_medium

Keron shrugged. After some more wandering he held another one up. “This?”

“Bacon? Eh. It’s so last year.”

Keron tossed it back on the shelf and kept moving. “How about?” Before he could get more out, Mik grabbed it out of his hand?

“What is it?”

images (1)“It’s a fat woman doing ballet.”

“Why?”

“Beats me.” He reached for the ornament hanging beside it and Mik’s hand closed around his wrist.

“No, you are not getting my mother shit on ribbon.”

“It’s not shit. It’s poo. Poo is popular.”poo

“Not in my mother’s house it’s not.”

Keron rolled his eyes. Several feet down the aisle, Keron meekly held up another one.

There was a pause as Mik looked at it. He tilted his head and took it from Keron. “Hmm. A blown glass sugar skull.” He tapped his foot and looked at Keron, lips pursed. “This might just be weird enough to be you, but cute enough to suit my mother, even if it is more of a Halloween decoration than a Christmas one.” He smiled at Keron. “We’ll take it.”GORAD1015959-PROD

Keron’s back straightened. “Can we go then?” He looked longingly at the door.

“We haven’t picked mine yet.”

“Oh come on, there are a million angels, just grab one.”

Mik’s lips drew down at the corners. “Is that what you did? Grabbed any old angel close enough to fuck? I was the lucky one within the vicinity?”

“Oh, honey. No.” Keron grabbed Mik’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Mik was stiff in his arms. “You are the first and only angel I’ve been with, the only one I’ve ever wanted and will ever want. Swear on a stack of porn DVDs.”

Mik snorted. “Okay, but help me pick one.”

Keron kissed him on the temple. “Fine. Let’s find the one.”

It didn’t take long before Keron turned to Mik. “This. This is it. It’s perfect.”west-elm-feather

The sceptical look on Mik’s face made it clear he thought Keron was simply trying to get it over with, but Keron was holding a beautiful clear crystal tear drop with two snow white feathers inside. “See? It’s not cheesy like an angel, but when I saw those feathers, I thought ‘That’s my Mikail, pure and bright.’ I think it’s perfect.”

Mik stood blinking at him. Keron stepped closer. “Are you okay? Are you crying? If you don’t like it we can get something else.”

“No, I love it.” Mik sniffled. “You really are a gigantic demonic sap you know.”

Keron bumped him with his shoulder. “If you tell the guys at work about this, I’ll have to kill you.”

“Uh huh. Love you too.”

“Yeah. Love you.” He glanced around. “Um. Can I go wait in the car?”

Mik shook his head fondly. “Yes, go. I’ll pay.” He watched Keron make a beeline for the door and was pretty sure he saw a little farewell wave from a tail hidden under the coat.

An angel and a demon made strange bedfellows, but you couldn’t really dispute that life was never dull. new Thanks so much to Thorny and Kris who did all the work on this one. It was a terrific idea. Happy Holidays, whichever you celebrate, everyone.